In the before times, I went with a bunch of 50+ friends to see Booksmart, a hilarious coming-of-age film about 2 wicked-smart teens who cram all their high school partying into 1 wacky night before graduation.

The movie opens with Molly, one of the main characters, in her dim bedroom before school. Seated in a lotus position, eyes closed in a meditative state, she’s calm and grounded as she presses play. A soft and firm female voice (Maya Rudolph) begins.

“Good morning winner…take a deep breath. 

Good, you’re ready to dominate this day. 

You’ve worked harder than everyone, and that is why you’re a champion. 

You understand that greatness takes sacrifice. 

Visualize what you still want to achieve. 

Stand on top of the mountain of your success and look down at 

everyone who’s ever doubted you. 

F*ck those losers! F*ck them and their stupid f*cking faces!” 

Close up on Molly’s face as she removes her retainer, and the audience laughs. 

Wait, I thought. 

Not funny. 

Doesn’t everyone have a positivity guru, a life coach, a therapist, and a stack of self-development books? Hasn’t everyone attended a Tony Robbins seminar?

Is it just me?

Actually, I don’t have a coach or a therapist, but I have been to a Tony Robbins seminar, and I do own 23 self-dev books.

But lately, I haven’t needed the wisdom from any of them.

When I need advice…

When I need humanity explained. 

When I need tools to cope with grief. 

I turn to the words of Elizabeth Gilbert.

Yes, that Elizabeth Gilbert. The mega-author of several bestselling books including the global hit Eat Pray Love that after reading, made women question their lives and want to take a one-way flight to foreign places for self-discovery, spirituality, and delish food. 

In an early chapter (spoiler), she’s sobbing on the bathroom floor when she decides to leave her seemingly perfect married life. 

Wow, I thought, her overreaction is making me squirm.

At the time, I couldn’t relate to Elizabeth’s dark cloud vibrations because I had never been through that kind of life-rattling loss or trauma.

15 years later, I get it. In that time there’s been growth, learning, discomfort, regrets, and grief. And this big question. Life…what does it all mean?

The turning point came when I stumbled on an episode of The Moth where she told the story of the love of her life Rayya Elias, who died of cancer. Her description of Rayya’s brutal last days and final moments were as raw as an open bleeding wound. I wept. 

This vibration? The one I heard in her shaky voice as she described the end of Rayya’s life? I felt it in my heart because I had lived it too when I witnessed my own mother take her last breath. 

Critics? Yeah, Elizabeth Gilbert has them. She was able to write her mega best-selling book Eat Pray Love because she had the privilege of obtaining a $$$ advance to travel and write it.

And I’m not downplaying therapy and mental health. We have a growing mental health crisis that’s affecting kids as young as 8. 

But when you’re on the mountain of life, trying to stay upright when you’re skidding down the backside, it helps to have reminders that put daily living into a balanced perspective. 

Here are words of wisdom from Elizabeth Gilbert culled from Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, Eat Pray Love, and other public forums including the presentation she did with Rayya Elias called ‘Sex, Drugs & Hair, All About Women 2015’, at the Sydney Opera House. 

Let me know if she inspires you too. 

LIFE IS NOT FOR SIPPING…GUZZLE IT:

“I came here to live a life…fully, all of it. And I’ll take it. I’ll take all of it. I’ll take the whole thing, because I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to have come all this distance to live a human life and miss the experience. So I just want to show up for the whole ride. I came here to do this.”

GROW THROUGH WHAT YOU GO THROUGH:

“The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it.”

MAKING SENSE OF GRIEF:

“The honour in grief is the rejoicing of having loved somebody so much that their departure breaks you. Not everybody has that. Not everybody has ever loved somebody that much. 

So within all the sadness and sorrow of the loss there’s this heightened stubborn rejoicing of we did that. We had love. We knew that and we did that together. And the willingness is to feel both of those things at the same time.”

MINDSET IS EVERYTHING:

“You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”

TRASH YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS:

“There’s always another level up. There’s always another ascension. More grace, more light, more generosity, more compassion, more to shed, more to grow” 

WHEN LIFE IS UNFAIR:

“There’s the adage that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and my experience is that’s not always the case, and that sometimes what doesn’t kill you f*cks you up so much” 

IT’S ON YOU:

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH:

“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.”

EG is like an older sister I never had; the kind who has a huge heart and guides without shaming or belittling. On Instagram she smiles and calls me ‘Dear One’.  

At 50+ we’re past the peak of the mountain, but in the climb we gained experience and wisdom. Let’s use the descension as a time to be our full true selves just like EG.

Resistance to your life and world is futile. Relax.