Youth to adulthood…we know where we’re going because it’s mapped out for us, and the transitions are clear.

🎒 school

😬 puberty

🎂 birthdays

🍸 21!

🎓 graduation

💻 career

💖 wedding

🧸 baby showers

Some of us take different offramps and detours, but the lines on the map are pretty solid for the majority, until you hit middle age.

Between middle age and the end of life, there’s no owner’s manual and it’s a free-for-all. The results are endless, but here are 13 I’ve observed.

ANTI-AGERS

Are determined to defy aging. The external is E V E R Y T H I N G, and they will spend buckets of moolah to look the same as they did at their most “beautiful”. Lies about their age even though Google knows.

Mantra: Look young, stay young.

Note: Knows the difference between CO2 and Fractional lasers.

BIO-HACKERS

Believe they can, and deserve to live forever, or at least until they’re 120. Practitioners of proven and unproven health hacks like fasting, ice cold plunges, infrared light therapy, young blood transfusions, and ozone therapy.

Mantra: I’m gonna live forever.

Note: Mostly men who use the latest nootropics, own an at-home sauna, and dabble in psilocybin. Science-Backed Longevity-Ager adjacent ⬇️.

DEATH DENIERS

La-de-da living. Takes life for granted, and doesn’t embrace each day as a gift.

No mantra, but will have regrets.

Note: Is superstitious about estate planning. 100% will lose the game.

DO THE WORK AGERS

Healthspan is more important than lifespan, and you can proactively incorporate good daily habits to lengthen healthspan.

Mantra: Close your rings. 🔴🟢🔵

Note: Healthy living is a practice. There’s no finish line.

FEARLESS AGERS

Full on radical acceptance of getting old.

Mantra: Loud and proud about gray hair and wrinkles. Bring it, I’ve earned it all.

Note: Radical? Out of the box? We should all practice self-love, and accept the skin we’re in.

IT IS WHAT IT IS AGERS

We’re old, everything is in decline, you can’t stop it, and it’s as sad as the slimy parsley you left in the back of the produce drawer, get used to it.

Mantra: I’ll drink as many cocktails, and eat as many damn fries slathered with cheese as I please.

Note: They’re lazy AF, but will probably still be downing their meds with tequila at 100.

LOST AGERS

They have no purpose, and it pisses them off, but they’re not willing to change. Has an infinite amount of excuses, and a diet heavy on nothing sandwiches.

Mantra: I’m too busy.

Note: You can lead a horse to water but…blah, blah, blah.

NEGATIVE AGERS

They’re just f*ckin’ downers about everything. Doom scrolls for fun. Naysayer energy is high.

Mantra: Life is as hard as putting toothpaste back in a tube.

Note: Avoid these people. Lost ager adjacent ⬆️

POSITIVE AGERS

Borders on toxic positivity. Everything about getting older is awesome, and you can continue to do what you did in your 20’s forever. Is obnoxiously sunshiny, and doesn’t get distracted by declining body parts.

Mantra: 50 is the new 30. (BTW, it’s not.)

Note: Is in training mode for their next triathlon, and thinks Peloton is for wimps.

REALISTS

Aging is part of life, and I accept that my life will end.

Mantra: I’m past my bloom, but potpourri is still cool. (The dried flower trend is everything.)

Note: The circle of life is for real, and will actively part ways for the youth.

SCIENCE-BACKED LONGEVITY-AGERS

Avid followers of Sinclair, de Grey, Longo, and Church, who are leading scientists and researchers doing breakthrough work to cure and even reverse aging.

Mantra: Aging is a disease, and diseases can be conquered.

Note: Mother nature is raising an eyebrow. Also see Bio-hackers.

SUPER AGERS

They have the physical and mental capacities of people decades younger. Eg. chronological age 80, biological age 50.

Mantra: Get out of your comfort zone and do hard things.

Note: Winners of the genetic lottery.

TECH-SAVVY AGERS

Was on Tik-Tok and Clubhouse before you heard of either. Tech savvy, has a crypto wallet, and follows Gary Vee.

Mantra: I’m pumped for the metaverse

Note: Can explain the difference between Web 1, Web 2, and Web 3.

Do you see yourself, or others you know? Are you a blend, a mix, a unique recipe of reality and wishful thinking?

Your guide is your own, and it’s complicated.

Moi?

I’m a Do The Work, with a sliver of Positive, and an interest in the Science-Backed, but want to be Fearless with the goal of Superaging.

Where do you fit? Are you a combo? Comment below. ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

You be you. No judgment. Ok, byeeee. 😉