Hey middle age. Remember when we met? I just turned 50 and a bunch of my parts that looked and worked just fine seemed to break down overnight. It was as startling as airplane turbulence. I thought aging was about having true wisdom, remarkable confidence, and inner calm, not swimming against a hard current. 

Aches, stiffness and thinning hair got me thinking about aging as much as I binge watch tv (a ton but never GoT – sorry, not sorry), but I’m not an “anti-ager” looking for ways to deny aging. My boyfriend Keanu Reeves summed up my feelings when he was asked about getting older: “How do I confront aging? With a wonder and a terror. Yeah I’ll say that. Wonder and terror.” But here’s the REAL white-knuckle part about middle age; 

it’s when you realize that your time on earth ahead of you,
is shorter than the time behind you.

Mic drop.

This truth made me shook so I did some searching and although there’s no playbook for getting older, there’s lots to know. Here’s are my initial learnings:

I want to live in a Blue Zone with just enough stress to be in hormesis. 

I want to be hungry enough to trigger autophagy. 

I want to stimulate my brain with puzzles that are so challenging they are left unfinished.

I want a circadian rhythm that rises and sets with the sun.

I want to take the right supplements, and sweat in a sauna. 

I need to cut out sugar in my diet, and maybe lectins. 

I want my mother back. 

I want the horse-tail-thick hair I had a decade ago. 

I want realistic 50+ representation in the media. 

I want to start over. 

I don’t want age to dictate what I can and can’t do. 

I want to maintain a strong body. 

I want to be physically pain-free.

I’m not on meds and want to keep it that way. 

I want healthy mitochondria. 

I want to dodge the top five regrets of the dying. 

I want to punch anyone who says “60 is the new 40”. 

I wish fish oil capsules were easier to swallow. 

Bitching.

Chronological age is just a measure of time, but how we age biologically can vary massively. 

If I do the “right” things, can I stay disease free, carry my own grocery bags, and have a sharp brain for years to come? Maybe…maybe not. 

I believe I can control habits and mindset, but real control…the kind that we thought we had back in January 2020…that just doesn’t exist. Regardless, I’m up for trying things to keep from feeling like a stool with a missing leg.

I’ll get sun exposure each day, and drink coffee with organic butter. I’ll practice mindfulness, and engage my belly with diaphragmatic breathing. I’ll wear dorky blue blocker glasses when I binge-watch my multiple streaming services. I’ll increase daily steps, and do HIIT and strength training every week. I’ll do some grounding, and sleep earlier. I’ll drink green juice, and never eat another bagel or french fry. I’ll take cold showers, and install red lights. I’ll do glutathione IV infusions. I’ll go to a bio-hacking conference and do a young blood transfusion like Silicon Valley bros. Maybe…maybe not.    

I was watching a video about Cortney Gusick who started Pāhiki Eco-Caskets in Hawaii to disrupt the $20 billion dollar funeral industry, and this quote of hers stuck with me.

“I think death denial is one of the biggest forms of time entitlement”.

The time ahead of you is shorter than the time behind you, and today is the youngest you will ever be, and no one is entitled to time. This is the reality to embrace. This is the playbook.

Tackling aging, if that’s what you desire, can be as complicated as you want it to be. 

At the moment, I’ll keep it simple and work on my relationship with time.